When you just can't believe it...

When I started this blog during my campaign for mayor, I planned to not really talk about personal issues. Unfortunately, that plan got blown all to hell tonight. So, my friends, my citizens, I ask you to forgive the fact that for the next few lines, I'm ceeding my role as mayor, and stepping back into my role as a private citizen. So, until I'm done, if you've got a problem, call the mayor pro tempore. That's why we appointed her. (You know, honestly, the fact that I don't get to be a private citizen anymore kinda chaps at me...but...that's another issue for another day.)

Tonight, at the Franklin County Board of Commissioners meeting, Commissioner Bob Winters of Lake Royale introduced a resolution to be passed by the FCBOC in support of an amendment to the Constitution of the State of North Carolina that will, in effect, ban same sex couples from every having the right of marriage. The resolution was not on the printed agenda as provided to the public, and the members of the Board (as far as I know) were not provided a copy of this resolution prior to the meeting. Commissioner Winters read the resolution, which took about five minutes of the meeting, as it was quite lengthy, and was apparently a 'form' resolution which was provided by one of the litany of organizations opposed to full equality for GLBT citizens.

Once the resolution was read, Commissioner Rev. Sidney Dunston spoke to the Board regarding his opinion of the issue. While he noted that he personally believes that marriage is the union of a man and a woman, he also believes that such legislation is unnecessary as the State of North Carolina already has such laws on the books (currently known as the Defense of Marriage Act) and would basically be the Board entering into a political hot potato. Commissioner Winters then rebutted Commissioner Dunston's comments, and no other comments were made regarding such. Commissioner Penny McGhee-Young, representing Franklinton (which is my area, making her my representative) then asked about the first paragraph of the resolution, which was very specific regarding the opinion of the Board with respect to the definition of marriage and what it means to Franklin County and the disintegration of marriage unions is a detriment to the quality of life in Franklin County. She noted that she would prefer to have that paragraph removed, but that she was okay with the vote being put to the citizens. After that, there were no other comments.

That said, I then sat in the audience with about 100 other people who were actively avoiding looking at me while this Board of Commissioners voted 6-1 in favor of this resolution. Commissioners whom I have known my entire life, some who are good friends of my family, some who I thought I was fairly close to, all of whom I now have to work with for another two and a half years as the elected representative of my community, voted to endorse the legislation of hatred, bigotry and inequality. The lone dissent? Commissioner Sidney Dunston. Whatever your reasons, Commissioner, I thank you.

Now...you're likely wondering, why is this such a big deal to you? Well, for a number of reasons. I'm fairly confident it's no secret that I'm gay. (If you pay any attention to The Franklin Times, you're well aware. There's a reason my swearing in picture was the above the fold on January 1, 2008...and it's not because I'm so pretty. Until recently, that photo set the record for the number of comments on the Franklin Times website. Some badges we wear with pride, I suppose.) Of course, this impacts me personally. While my other half lives eight states away at the moment, what do we do when we decide we want to get married? The answer is, apparently, nothing in the State of North Carolina. What I can't get anyone to explain to me is, why is it that gay marriage scares religious straight people so much? What are you so afraid of? Are you frightened we'll be better at it? Ya'll certainly haven't managed to do a great job with it in the past 200 years. Take a look at the divorce rates. Are you afraid gays getting married will stimulate the economy? There is OVERWHELMING research to prove that if gays were able to get married, they would put over $5 billion in to the economy of this nation per year with wedding ceremonies alone. From a municipal perspective, that is municipal revenue! Or are you afraid of the 1,151 rights currently afforded to heterosexual couples that are denied to gay couples? Are you afraid I'll get more out of my tax return because I'll be able to claim head of household? Are you afraid I'll be better at being married? What is it?

And please, whatever you do, don't argue the religous aspect with me. Because I promise you, for every sin you cite with regards to sodomy, I'll throw one back at you. Shellfish anyone? I was raised BAPTIST. I know 'em all. Please take me on with that debate.

By now you know, I'm a little upset. Why? Because two hours ago, I sat in a crowded room, with full knowledge by the governing body in the room that I was the only gay person in the room, and that I am the only openly gay elected leader in Franklin County, while this vote was taken. How hard would it have been for someone to say, "Hey, just so you know, this is coming up." At least I wouldn't have been blindsided. The people in the room that were doing their best to avoid eye contact wouldn't have been so uncomfortable. And I wouldn't have had to look good friends in the eye while it happened. I will tell you, though, that tonight's actions explain a lot. I understand certain interpersonal interactions with others across the county a whole lot better now.

At this point, I can honestly say that for the first time in 32 years...I'm speechless. And that, as you know, is saying a lot.

Okay...rant over. I have more I can say. Feel free to contact me, but know that in discussing this issue, I'm not speaking as the Mayor of Franklinton...regardless of the fact that I was elected to serve, I'm still a citizen, I still get to vote (and don't you forget it), and I still get to have my own personal opinion. And NOBODY can take that away from me. NOBODY.

Open House in Franklinton

If you hold it, they will come. Right? Apparently not. In an effort to open the government of the Town to its people, we held an open house last June, complete with catered breakfast. And you know who came? The Board. That’s right. Not one, single, solitary soul showed up to talk to the members of the Board, to air their issues, to ask their questions – and it was budget time! It almost felt like being back in the classroom – I reach out, and nobody takes the hand. Since then, we've held Open House a couple of other times, and we are committed as a Board to continue these open forums...but...if nobody shows up, why would we continue to expend the staff time to attend, as well as our own?

I’d like to see this as an opportunity for there to be open dialogue in our community. However – others may not see it this way. If this isn’t something the citizens of Franklinton want, it’s much easier to just tell us. But – we want you to know that we want to hear from you! We want to know what you’re thinking, what you have to say, etc. So come tell us! Our third quarter open house was at our February meeting. The fourth quarter open house will be on the same day as Fun in the Sun - May 16. Come and see us! Let us know what’s on your mind! What you think the priorities are! As my mom would say – I’d prefer not to see this as something that tried and couldn’t. So, take us up on this – let’s hear from you!